Disgrace
Lyrics
I asked your mom
What it feels like to go to the prom with your son
She said not good
Didn't think we knew who she was
Saw her drop you off at the bus
I asked your dad
What it feels like to know that your son is a spaz
He said not good
Do your old man a favor
Stop playing with your dolls at the table
Watch the bath soap shake and cower
This must be your week to shower
I can't stand to look at your face
You're a disgrace, yeah
I asked your friends
What's it smell like when mom doesn't change you're depends
They said not good
Baby tends to get kind of hyper
When he's got a deuce in his diaper
Down
Lyrics
He was in the food court handing out chicken
Eying up some ladies and doing some thinking
Yeah she looks alright, maybe not too uptight
Maybe she'd hit the town and get down
These thoughts they gave him a funny sensation
But he was not supposed to leave his station
Maybe she'd pass him by, and he'd catch her eye
But she didn't come round, he felt down
She is so beautiful and he is so dutiful
But her doability shatters responsibility
He may never get a second chance
To find himself in such a fine romance
Through the mall he chased her trying to find her
In the line a Macys he came up behind her
Then he made his case, she laughed in his face
She called him a clown, shot down
Believe It Or Not
Lyrics
Bowl For Your Soul
Lyrics
There was a time when you were judged on how you lived
And people were sure to be kind and to give
But heaven don't care if you lie or if you sin
Head down to the bowl-a-drome, rent a lane, knock down some pins
You will bowl for your soul
You will, you will bowl
Those not in a league have more to lose
For they will face judgment day in a pair of rented shoes
God will reward those who have dared
Some he will strike and some will be spared
Big Tom C
Lyrics
I don't think that I should waste my time with you
I've been waiting so long for a dream come true
But it's not you
I don't think that you could ever pass the test
Cause you're just like all the rest
If it ain't growing then it's dying
And it's all over but the crying
I don't know what you want from me
But I've got deadlines that I must meet
Can't you see that's how it must be?
And you're a special girl but I guess you're not the one
We've had out good times but I must be moving on
And if the thrill was there then it came to an end
I'm sorry girl but we can still be friends
Girl Plumber
Lyrics
I'm not a john but mine is clogged
My mind is clear my mirrors fogged
I like your smile I love your belt
Since when did plumbers get so svelte
So girl plumber come on in
And the plunging will begin
Now I will quench your thirst
My pipes gonna burst, yeah
No matter how tightly I grip
I can not seem to stop this drip
Bend over more I see some skin
It's smooth and white like porcelain
I want you to know
I won't ask you to stay
You've got a great career
I won't get in the way, yeah
Green
Lyrics
Oh Green it wasn't me
Who poured out your lemonade and substituted pee
You ask if I'm your friend
I guess that depends, what's in it for me
You've got a lot of friends if you count chat rooms
You know a lot of girls if you count your aunt and your mom
There's a price tag when you knock
A case of beast or rock
There's a price to get inside
Now I could use a ride
You'll jump from where you stand
How about a hand
Oh Green it's all your fault
You should have known that I can't eat your dinner without salt
I tell you what I'll do
I'll tell you when I'm through and you can clean up
Special May
Lyrics
He bore a resemblance they say, to a very special Brian May
But he seemed ok, never thought I'd see the day
When he would give in to a life of crime
And then he would dare to cross the line
But then he showed his darker side
Then he stole what's mine.
Why'd you do it special may
Why'd you throw it all away
Was that guitar so nice
Was it worth the sacrifice
Lost the only job you'd ever know
And then you were forced to leave your home
I hope it comforts you to own
Another six string as you roam
Tina Yothers, Laker Girl
Lyrics
Growing up without privacy
On display for all the world to see
You share the awkward years of puberty
With us each year on NBC
Tina Yothers, Laker girl
Tina Yothers, Laker girl
Why don't you take some of Mallory's salary
Hire someone a little less Mike Gross
Why don't we skippy the scene where you strippy
You're not exactly a Michael J. Fox
Oh, the tragic loss of innocence
In the cameras eye at the age six
The thrills of your childhood success
Can slip away to the ills of your excess
Andrews coming soon I tell you
It will spell your doom I tell you
Unreliable Drummer
Lyrics
Unreliable drummer, we don't know where you are
If you don't show it's a bummer
If we don't practice we won't get very far
Out of tune guitarist what's that horrible sound
If you don't buy a tuner
We'll never get this band off of the ground
These geeks are dragging me down so low
It's time for me to go solo
Self aggrandizing bassist always telling us what to do
Your board sound like a spaceship
Do you play it or does it play you
Vegan
Lyrics
She's got beauty to spare
And looks to which none can compare
No one could ever be as fair
She's as bright as the sun
Her smile infects everyone
No one could ever be as fun
In spite of all that I'm leaving
Please don't beg me to stay
It's just a shame you're a vegan
Cause I could never live that way
She is nobody's fool
Her thighs totally rule
No one could ever be as cool
Your Sister's Pretty Hot
Lyrics
Your sister's pretty hot, it unfortunate you're not
Is that why you're so angry
I guess it's not excuse enough to get away with all that stuff
The threats and hostility
She's Cavenaugh's selection she's under your protection
And some one has to set her free
Who would be so brave to jump on that grenade?
I guess that somebody's me
Overprotective long island girl, no need for jealousy
Maybe some boys would dance with you to
If you weren't so fucking mean
She showing the affection that he'll add to his collection
But you're demanding equity
She offers no resistance but they need my assistance
The guardian must be appeased